Why You Are Struggling to Create What You Want

​“We are born with worthiness hardwired into our being. The only thing we need to do is remember.” ~ Brené Brown

In the last article, I shared the 5 biggest reasons we sabotage our progress toward what we want. But if I were to pick the biggest reason, it would undoubtedly be this one. We struggle to create the outcomes we desire because deep down, we don’t believe we are worthy of it.
 
Now, on a conscious level, we know we deserve it all. We’ve probably said it to ourselves a million times: “I deserve success. I deserve love. I deserve happiness,” and on some level we believed it. But as I mentioned before, that’s not enough. It’s not just about what we think. It’s about what we feel deep inside.
 
We have to feel that we are worthy. We have to love ourselves, truly and fully, if we want to create the life we deeply desire.

“Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults.” ~ Les Brown
 
Here’s the truth: you were born worthy, and nothing can ever change that. In fact, I have a video on this topic I highly recommend you watch if you haven’t seen it because I don't want you to ever question your worth again—or let it stop you from creating the life you deserve.

When we don’t feel worthy, we’re just not going to commit. We won’t follow through. We’ll find a way to procrastinate, self-sabotage, or convince ourselves it’s not the right time.

Here’s the simple (but not always easy to implement) secret to creating amazing things in your life: you have to truly love yourself to make the necessary change.
 
And if you are reading this, I know that you love yourself enough to look for answers, find the resources to help you, and learn what you need to learn in order to give yourself what you sincerely want. You are ready.
 
On the other hand,  If we’re trying to change something because we think we’re not good enough, or we hate where we are in life, or we see ourselves as a failure—then even if we succeed temporarily, it won’t last. We’ll keep hitting the ceiling of our own self-image (more about it in the next article) or falling back into old patterns.
 
Yes, I know that sometimes we hit a breaking point. We hate how we look. We’re exhausted from being broke. We’re tired of being alone. And in those moments of pain and anger, we use that intense energy to make a big change. And sometimes… it actually works.
 
But here's the problem: what happens when that pain goes away?
 
If your motivation is to not be broke, for example, then the moment you make some money and feel better, the urgency is gone. If you start eating healthy just to recover from a health issue, once you feel better, it’s easy to go back to old habits. We’ve all done it.
 
This is exactly how we sabotage ourselves—and it’s not because we’re lazy or broken. It’s because our motivation was rooted in fear or pain, not in love.
 
So what’s the alternative?
 
We have to love ourselves enough to aim higher. To dream bigger. To choose what we do want, not just what we’re trying to avoid.
 
Instead of “I don’t want to be sick,” we choose: “I want to live in a strong, healthy body for the rest of my life.”
Instead of “I don’t want to be alone,” we say: “I want to be in a deeply fulfilling, loving relationship.”
Instead of “I want to cover all my bills,” we hold the vision: “I am truly abundant.” 
 
Fear will always push us to take action when things get bad—but that motivation fades. Love pulls us toward something greater, and that’s what lasts. 

Have you ever experienced that loss of motivation once things got a little better? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.
 
Because when your actions come from love, everything changes. You’re not doing it to prove anything. You’re doing it because you love yourself, and you love the people who are impacted by your growth—your kids, your partner, the people you serve. And when you love someone, you never say to them, “That’s enough, don’t get any better.” Of course not. You want the best for them. So why wouldn’t you want that for you?
 
The key is to envision a future that excites you. One that pulls you forward—not just a life where you're avoiding what you don’t want, but a life that reflects who you really are and what you truly desire.
 
Here’s something important to understand: our brain is wired to survive. That means the primitive part of us is always scanning for threats, even when none exist. Most of us are living in a constant state of survival—even when we are physically safe—because our body doesn’t know the difference between actual danger and a perceived one. It would rather be overly cautious than risk getting hurt.
 
But once we become aware of this, we can rewrite those patterns. We can reclaim our creative energy and start creating a life by design, not by default. I hope you’re starting to gain clarity and create that greater vision for yourself. One that pulls you forward with excitement, instead of pushing you with fear.

Remember: the only way to be truly happy is to authentically be and fully express your Real Self.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~ Carl Jung